6 Ways For Rebuilding Trust
Posted: Thursday, March 29, 2007
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
Did you
know that trusting your spouse is one of the most important elements of
marriage? Did you know that without the sacred bond of trust between a husband
and a wife, the marriage will be unhappily discontented all the while it heads
down the path to destruction? How can you live with someone day in and day out
and not trust them? I think it is time to look at our selves, wouldn’t you
agree?
There are six aspects that you should know to help build back the trust that has been taken from your marriage. These things can be followed in the marriage that has never experienced the beauty of trust as well.
1.
Forgive
Forgiving
your spouse for something that has put the marriage on high alert is probably
the hardest thing to do. That is why we look at our selves. Ask your self, why
can’t I forgive? Why do I not want to forgive? This is the question that needs
to be addressed.
The
reason many of us don’t forgive is we want to stay safe in our feelings that unforgiveness
gives us. We don’t want to come out of the negative way we feel about our
spouse because we are angry and resentful inside. Once we forgive, we can’t
hide inside our feelings anymore. Once we forgive we cannot behave the way our
negative feelings tell us to. Once we
forgive we can’t use our spouses error against them anymore. Once we forgive we
will have to come out of the resentment we are now living in. If you want your
marriage to be free of these unhealthy emotions you will certainly need to
forgive!
2.
Cease Erring Against The Marriage
If
trust has been broken, someone in the marriage either went astray or did
something else to break the bonds of trust. Whatever that err was, that spouse
NEEDS to quit and desist in their erring ways. If you are reading this article
then I am positive that you would like to stop erring against your spouse. You
can’t expect your spouse to forgive you if you cannot stop erring in your ways,
can you? Also as Christian’s we are
accountable to God, and that means if we have sinned then we need to repent and
come back to the Lord.
3.
Communicate Feelings
When
was the last time that you had an intimate conversation with your spouse? Has
it been a long time? Don’t hold back your feelings; it is okay to show emotion
once in awhile. When we use our feelings productively we are communicating in a
good way that will get the issue on the right track to being resolved.
If you
want to rebuild the trust with your spouse, they need to trust in what you say!
They want to know that you care enough about them to ask them questions about
their feelings and thoughts. Intimate conversation involves getting close to
each other through your words and feelings. It helps to bring the bonds of
marriage back together when we express ourselves properly and honestly.
4.
Accept Spouse
Acceptance
is so VERY important. Without acceptance of one another there will never be
trust. Trust needs to be validated in the marriage. This is why if you have
broken the trust-bond, you now need to forgive and accept. These two features
go hand in hand. To forgive properly
means you have decided to rethink your whole attitude about your spouse. There
is no room left for brow beating your spouse about something they did in the
past, especially if you have decided to forgive completely.
5.
Discover Purpose Together
A
spiritually deficient marriage will be a neglected marriage. It’s really that simple. Too many times
couples go their separate ways and instead of growing together in the marriage,
they grow apart, damaging the intimacy between them. But a healthy marriage
involves a spiritual togetherness that nothing can separate. Find things that
you both like together and go after those things.
This
spiritual togetherness might be to discover true purpose and meaning for your
lives as a couple. It is so important to not neglect the importance of biblical
study and prayer together. Discovering the Spiritual Christ for your marriage
is what brings back the trust that is so vital for a happy marriage.
6. Time
Everything
takes time. You need to have patience and wait. Show your spouse that you trust
them. Show them you have stopped erring against the marriage so they can trust
you again. Remember your spouse has been deceived and they are hurting. Show
them you will be accountable for your actions not just before them but also
before God. Take responsibility, stop erring, seek God, communicate properly,
and trust will come back into the marriage.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Oh wow I love your topic is so right you need too put God first and seek and things would change but I'm seeking to change and that's why I'm reading this article is really great what you wrote...
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