Why Do Marriages Fail?
Posted: Wednesday, May 02, 2007
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
Marriages do not fail; it is the people in marriage that
fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and
He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not
taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. If we don’t work the
program, we won’t know what to do when trouble strikes, and ultimately we will
fail the marriage class.
Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. (Proverbs 8:33,34 NIV)
No one else cares about your marriage more than God does.
That is why he left His people with the most infallible instructions on how
married couples are to treat one another in marriage. These instructions, if
followed properly, will not break apart the bonds of matrimony between a man
and a woman. It will in fact, unite the bonds of marriage, and make it a sacred
and holy union created by God himself.
If I want a great marriage, built upon trust, forgiveness,
respect and commitment, I certainly would not step out of the Godly foundations
of where marriage originated. Absolutely not! I would go to the master designer
Himself, wouldn’t you?
God explains to us in detail what the roles and
responsibilities of a husband and a wife are. The problem is many couples have
a difficult time heeding God’s guidance because God’s instructions often get
trampled upon by unbelievers and rebellions living outside of God’s boundaries,
and then, many Christian’s hear it, believe it, and live it. And then, they wonder why their marriage is
failing.
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,
boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient, ungrateful, unholy, without love,
unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of good,
treacherous, rash, conceited, … (2 Timothy 3:2 NIV)
God explains to us in simple terms how a husband is to love
his wife and how a wife is to love her husband. Love in marriage is NOT about
feeling good, but about giving of oneself and respecting one another. Instead
what are couples doing? They are putting conditions on love, they are seeking
what “appears to be love" from other’s outside of their marriage, and they are
disrespecting and demoralizing one another in the marriage.
Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is
love. (1 John 4:8 NIV)
God explains with great care the position of both husband
and wife in marriage. But instead of following God’s instructions they are
pawning off their positions onto each other! How wrong is that? It is
backwards.
Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
Wife, are you submitting to the Lord? If so, why are you not
submitting to you husband? This is your role and duty as a Christian wife to
do. If we slack off and not do the will of God, then we are rebelling against
God’s will for us.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church
and gave Himself up for her…(Ephesians 5:25 NIV)
Husband, are you loving your wife just as Jesus Christ loved
you and gave His life up for you?
I believe many Christian
couples are following a different instruction book for their marriage. They are
not on the same book with God! I don’t know where their marriage book comes
from, but I do know it is not created with the same care and spiritual guidance
that God’s instructional book is created with.
One of God’s guiding
principles for marriage is to forgive one another with completeness of heart
and mind, meaning the way Christ has forgiven us. If couples never learn to forgive in this way, I believe, they
will be missing out on so much in life. Forgiveness changes things; it changes
a person’s spirit and way of life. It teaches a total giving process that
reaches out to others like nothing else can.
He was delivered over to
death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. (Romans 4:25
NIV)
If we are failing marriage
maybe we need to be reading God’s other instructional book first. You know, the
one on being born again in Jesus Christ where true forgiveness and love is
found.
For we know that our old self has been crucified with him so
that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be
slaves to sin – because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. (Romans
6:6,7 NIV)
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Insightful and scripturally so! Thank you. Your answer to the title question was right on. God doesn't design or build a marriage program that does not work. It's the two people that fail the marriage. An excellent article Mrs. Lewis! I enjoyed it very much.Thank you, Mr. Avis Ward. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. God Bless! Angie
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