Make Marriage Your Responsibility and Be Accountable
Posted: Thursday, May 31, 2007
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
As a married adult, what are your responsibilities in marriage? What did you learn in school or at home about responsibility and accountability in life? Ninety-nine percent of high school graduates know nothing about how a relationship works. How could they, most of them have dated since they were twelve and had sex with five or ten different partners? They have been mentally and emotionally abused.
Is it the schools responsibility to teach about responsibility and accountability? No, I don’t think so. Is it the parent’s responsibility? It surely is. So then what is happening with that? I’m sorry, but I don’t see it. I just don’t see where most couples in marriage are taking responsibility for their marriages. They need to step up to the plate and take responsibility! But instead, they are handing their marriage over to the state. “Here, you deal with it, it’s your problem now".
Where is the responsibility and accountability? That’s what I want to know. If my right arm was giving me problems and was in pain, should I get a new one? If my son or daughter treated me badly, should I get rid of him or her, and find another son or daughter? If my husband committed adultery, should I commit adultery too? If my car started losing oil, should I buy a whole new car? If I stopped feeling euphoric in love in my marriage, should I get a new spouse?
The truth be told, couples are confusing marriage with dating. They somehow associate being married to just dating and having sex. There is no commitment in the marriage relationship anymore, there is no morals or principles anymore, and when they get tired of being married to that marriage partner, they can dump them and get a whole new marriage partner, again, just like they once did when they were dating. And then, they can repeat the cycle all over again.
How can we start taking responsibility and be accountable for our part in the marriage? First, get divorce completely out of your mind. Second, start taking responsibility, and admit your failings and work on getting the big fat log out of your own eye and let your spouse work on getting the sliver out of theirs. Third, be devoted to one another through respect and acceptance of each other. Stop blaming and accusing one another; leave each other alone, and watch love come back into the marriage.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Good article. I hope people think about what you have written.Hi JL, thanks for the encouragement. I hope people think about what I have written too.
Angie, a very good article. You're correct, marriage is treated like dating instead of the sacred commitment of trust and unconditional love between two who should be one. This can only change or happen when Christ is given His rightful position in our lives. I wish more people could read this article, too. Have a blessed weekend. Take care!Hi Avis, Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. Your comments are always such a blessing to receive. God Bless. Angie
Wow! I could not agree more. But where do parents learn to parent or folks learn relationship skills if not from the environment they grow up in. This is pretty much a learn as you go thing. Like you said, there are some key elements involved. I will rephrase the adage of "life and let live" to "live and help live".Judgment is such a huge part our lives and we don't even know we are doing it. If folks would simply give each other they same space they themselves demand in the life trek relationships would be so much better.Thank you for the thought provoking article.
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