Home » What Do Couples Need From Each Other In Marriage?
What Do Couples Need From Each Other In Marriage?
Posted: Tuesday, June 05, 2007
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
What
does a wife need from her husband? I can’t answer that question for all women,
but I do know what I need. I need my
husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas. I want my husband to
realize that the marriage does not center only around him and what he needs,
but on what we both need. I want for my husband to make time for me. I want to
be put on the top of his priority list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does
that sound selfish? It’s not selfish when you know that he gets the same
treatment from me.
I want
for my husband to enjoy spending his time off with me and so I often encourage
fun and creative things to do together when he does have the spare time away
from work. I have to remember this,
though, if I am not acting on my marriage obligations the way God wants for me
to, I should not expect that my husband would be too happy about it. So then, I shouldn’t take advantage of my
husband’s loving kindness or take our marriage for granted. Because my first
priority should be my husband’s happiness, right?
I
believe God has put me where I am at for a reason. I have been blessed with the
man I married because that is who God put before me 23 years ago. I didn’t
change the course of events to marry the man I married, because the events
became the course. In other words, I did not put a gun to my husband’s head and
tell him to marry me or else. What became yesterday is what is today. Not that we cannot change or improve on our
marriage, but that we ought to be content with the person God has blessed us
with.
Once we
get rid of the idea of divorce and we get rid of the bad attitude is when we
can begin to reflect upon who we are in the marriage and begin living our God
fulfilled purpose. Once we get rid of the selfishness we can start to fulfill
the roles and responsibilities that have been given to us when we got married.
But we cannot get rid of these ideas until we choose to follow Gods plans for
our marriage. We are the ones who fail marriage. Marriage does not fail, people
do!
We fail
marriage because we give up. We give up on God and we give up on what we can do
to change ourselves. You’ve heard the saying; patience is a virtue, right?
Well, we have given up on patience because we feel that time is running out.
Time does not run out, but people do.
The messages from society run amok and tell us to do things that are not
from God but from selfish desires and arrogance. If that is who a person is than
they have every right to continue listening to and believing those messages.
But if you are a part of God’s family then you have your own messages to listen
to.
Be very
careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of
every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but
understand what the Lords will is.
(Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV)
I know
what I need from my husband. I need to know that he is devoted to our marriage
that we started 23 years ago. I want him to accept me for who I am, because I
cannot guarantee that I will never make mistakes. I need to know that my
husband would never act on a bad attitude, turn against me, and ask for a
divorce like many spouses in marriage do. Because what is that? That is not a marriage, that is people being
wishy washy with each other, allowing feelings to control the outcome of the
marriage.
I believe a husband needs the same thing from his wife. A man needs
his wife to respect his position in the marriage above everything else. If a
man is allowed to be the man in his home, then everything else should just fall
into place like clockwork.
…However,
each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NIV)
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
Angie,
This is meant as constructive comments. It would helpful if you were more specific about what you meant by "God's purpose" or "God's plan for our marriage." It would be helpful, in my opinion, to be more concrete about what that spiritual verbiage means. Very thoughtful article. I am glad you have a positive meaningful marriage with God as your focus! Thank you
» left by 4 years 245 days ago.
Dear, James P Krehbiel
Thank you. And you are absolutely correct. Sometimes I have to stop myself and be a bit more clear with what I mean. I know what I meant but many, like you may not. In marriage I believe our whole purpose is to love our spouse the way God intends for us to love them; unconditionally, if you will. And that is God's purpose for us. I know that it is not always easy to love unselfishly, but that is why it is a purpose and a goal -- something to strive for and grow in marriage with your partner. God's plan for our lives is set out in the bible. The "Sermon on the Mount" is a plan or new way of living that God has set out for us to follow.
Again, thank you for bringing this to my attention and I appreciate your honesty and value your opinion greatly.
In Christ,
Angie
» left by Gracie
4 years 245 days ago.
Good article, Angie. Every now and then we need to take a step back and look at what we are doing. One thing that is important to me is that my husband treats me as good as he does his best guy friend. And, that I treat him with that same courtesy.
» left by 4 years 245 days ago.
Hi Gracie,
Thanks for sharing this. That is what its all about treating each other the way we would like to be treated. I appreciate your thoughts.
God Bless!
Angie
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