Is A Passionate Kiss Outside of Marriage Considered Adultery?
Posted: Thursday, September 06, 2007
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
What is your heart telling you during that passionate kiss? Scripture points out to us that even when we look at another person with lust (desire) we have committed adultery in our heart. If I think about being thirsty, I will want to drink some water. And the more I dwell on how thirsty I am, the thirstier I will become. In the same way, if I think about being lonely and unhappy in my marriage, I may want to go outside the bounds of my marriage for attention and happiness.
When a married man or woman even looks at another person with thoughts of sex or with thoughts of desiring him or her, it is adultery of the mind. The more we think about desiring another person and the more we look with thoughts of longing, the chances are physical adultery will occur. What is produced in our mind eventually comes out in our actions. So knowing this then, what do you think a passionate kiss will produce?
What causes emotional infidelity is when a husband or wife does not feel that their needs are getting met – something is missing from the relationship, or they don’t feel loved. So what happens is usually by accident, the seemingly deprived spouse finds someone online that is apparently and genuinely interested in them. Ironically all of the missing elements within that person have been discovered and fulfilled since meeting this new online friend.
Sometimes these relationships are not just online, but from someone you know and talk to every single day, such as where you work. Pretty soon, you are feeling so euphoric with all of the new attention this person is giving you that you end up in a passionate and absorbing kiss. The more this other person fills you up with attention, the more your mind will tell you to have sex with them.
What causes physical adultery is looking and desiring and then thinking about having sex with someone in your mind. God wants us to only desire the person we married. If you feel that something is missing in your marriage, or you just do not feel loved by your spouse, it means it is time to get more intimate and bring romance back into the marriage!
When we ask God for guidance and we stop thinking and desiring someone other than who we married, we find the person we married pleasing to us and we realize we don’t desire strangers any more. You see the switch in thinking? That switch of thoughts comes from the Power of Christ within you. This happens because of prayer and the faith we have that God WILL do what He says He will do. The more we think of doing what is right we will desire our spouse even more! If we don’t care about what is right or wrong, we will inevitably fall into lustful thinking and desires.
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. (Galatians 5:16-17 NIV)
Believers are not alone in their sufferings – we have God’s words in our heart and Christ’s teachings in our minds. We must ask God to keep us from lustful thoughts so we may not even “think” or “desire” another person in a sexual or lustful way.
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly possessions, and to live self controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Titus 2:11 –12 NIV)
Where can a passionate kiss lead? It can lead to disrespect of oneself, spouse and to God. Adultery brings ruin to many homes – in the end when all is said and done, was it worth losing your marriage over? In a healthy marriage, where Christ has been given priority over everything else, married people reserve themselves for each other.
For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16 NIV)
***
Angie Lewis has written three books on how to have a happy marriage. She has just finished her fourth book THE ALCOHOLISM TRAP: Understanding Why You Drink and What You Can Do To Achieve Total Sobriety.
For more information about this book and marriage books, please visit: http://www.heavenministries.com
To see book previews, please visit: http://stores.lulu.com/angielewis
This Article has been viewed 457 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Angie, this was agreat article. Too many people don't take the vows they made seriously any more. They have the attitude that if they don't like it, they will just get divorced! Either that, or like you say, they start looking around for something better, but the termoil is within and they are never satisfied. It is too bad that they have to ruin someone elses life in the process. Keep up the great writing, the world needs more people like you!Hi Jan Thank you for the encouragement. God Bless. Angie :-)
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.