6 Popular Myths About Love, Life, And Forgiveness
Posted: Saturday, October 06, 2007
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
MYTH 1. A Cheating Spouse Is The Same As An Unfaithful Spouse
FACT: It is true that a cheating spouse and an unfaithful spouse have both committed adultery, but the fact is, the cheater will continue to cheat over and over again, while the unfaithful spouse has repented and hopefully will not commit adultery again. A cheater does not have any spiritual wisdom or discernment to care about his disloyal actions against his spouse. An unfaithful spouse feels remorse, and is willing to humble himself before God.
FACT: Love is not something that a person falls in and out of. In a relationship, love needs time to develop – it isn’t already present or it does not become present in a day or week, or even months. The feeling of being in love with the guy or gal you just met last month is not love but something else, probably excitement of the new relationship and euphoria.
You cannot just fall out of love with someone you have worked hard at loving for many years. What actually happens in many marriages is couples have stopped working on loving each other, which feels like they are no longer in love. Since there is no such thing as falling in love, then you cannot fall out of love either. Love needs to be sustained on a consistent basis by your actions or else it will not develop. This is why many relationships are short lived.
MYTH 3. Addictions and Affairs Is Number One Reason For Divorce
FACT: It is not addictions or affairs that cause divorce, but the lack of devotion and commitment to the person you married. Addictions, selfishness, and affairs are the symptoms of an uncommitted heart. For instance, a devoted wife will choose to stay with her alcoholic husband rather than get a divorce, even if that means losing some of her happiness, which is most likely, the case. Fortunately, the alcoholic can get sober, and the marriage can be happy and fulfilled once again.
Uncommitted persons like to use a cheating spouse or an alcoholic spouse as reason for getting out of the marriage contract and that is why it has traditionally been considered the number one reasons for divorce. Marriage is difficult at times, no doubt about that. Choosing to support one another through the good days as well as the bad is what’s required of us and is what God intends for marriage to be. We are to help our spouse with their struggles and suffering with the strength given to us by God!
MYTH 4. A Husband Can Abuse and Control His Wife Because God Has Given Him the Position To Do So
FACT: Spiritual headship is about serving (loving) your wife on the foundations of Jesus Christ. A husband is commanded to love his wife by first serving Christ and following His example. A Husband is to treasure his wife with the same devotion and commitment that Jesus Christ gave His Church. Jesus laid down His life for your life because you are part of His Church. He suffered and died for you so you could learn what true love and forgiveness are so you could love and forgive others completely. This is the attitude a man is to love his wife with. If a husband is misusing scripture to abuse and or control his wife with than that comes from the world of men, not God.
MYTH 5. You Have To Go To Church To Be Saved And To Worship God (Jesus)
FACT: Believers are to worship Jesus in Spirit and in Truth. We are not commanded to go to Church and you do not need to go to Church to be saved. Jesus is in the hearts and minds of believers and He hears your prayers and devotions wherever you are. There is nothing wrong with going to Church and fellowshipping with like-minded believers and worshipping our Savior. But be sure that you are not going to Church for just the showmanship of it. I have met many people who go to Church and still do not have a personal relationship with Jesus. They are more concerned about looking good to others on the outside than actually being good on the inside.
MYTH 6. It’s Easy To Forgive Our Spouse When They Have Wronged Us
FACT: We are powerless to forgive completely without having the knowledge of what Jesus has done for us and accepting that truth into our heart and mind. Jesus has given us the true meaning of what forgiveness is, and to forgive others like Jesus forgave us, we must follow Him and His example; otherwise our forgiveness would be shallow and unreal. Someone who says they have forgiven but is still tormented by it, or still brings the hurt out into the open, has not truly forgiven.
Angie Lewis has written three books on how to have a happy marriage. She has just finished her fourth book THE ALCOHOLISM TRAP: Understanding Why You Drink and What You Can Do To Achieve Total Sobriety.
For more information about this book and marriage books, please visit: http://www.heavenministries.com
To see book previews, please visit: http://stores.lulu.com/angielewis
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)hi angie, this was a good article, and i related with all you said. i feel the same way. two peas in a pod? thanks for a good read, best regards, sue thomHi Susan, Thanks for reading my article. I enjoy what you have to say in all of your writings. Many Blessings to you and your son, Angie Lewis
Angie an excellent article. You are, at least in my opinion since I only know you through this site, a gentle soul walking among the wolves. Your lessons are one sthat everyone in a relationship should think about. BUt and that is a big but,it all starts in the heart. Therein lies the true you. Best wishes. RTMThank you Robert. I do appreciate your thoughtful comments. And I agree totally with "it all starts in the heart." What is generated in our heart (mind) does come out in our actions. Have a blessed day! In Christ, Angie
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