Should A Christian Meet Someone on a Dating Website
Posted: Wednesday, August 13, 2008
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
How often on those dating websites is someone really matched up to a compatible partner? If you are looking for a marriage partner than why are you going to a dating website in the first place? I think dating sites are for people who really aren't that serious about making a long term commitment in the first place. The other aspect of the dating scene I need to ask is if you are a believer than why are you trusting in these matchmaking sites rather than God to find your soul mate?
I totally encourage young single men and women to earnestly pray for that special someone to come into their life? Do not put your trust in online dating websites. You might get hurt. Do you think God does not care about your personal relationships? On the contrary, God will answer your prayers in ways that you may not be aware of, at least in most instances. It might be that God would rather you stay single, at this time, so you may apply yourself towards working for him in whatever capacity that He has given you to serve with. Or it could be that God will bless you with your soul mate, but not this month or this year. Wait on God - He knows when you are ready to commit.
I believe wholeheartedly that God blesses single Christian people, who are ready, with a suitable marriage partner. Whether they realize that person is meant for them or not is another matter. Many single people are so busy trying to control the outcome of meeting up with someone to share themselves with that they do not know that God should be in control of that aspect of their life. Many people believe they have to be in control of meeting up with that special someone, but with God that just is not so.
First of all, God wants to know that you are ready for the big commitment of marriage. If He thinks you are not ready to share yourself with someone else through the good times and the bad, He is not going to put that special person before you, at least not yet. So then knowing this ask yourself, "Am I ready to be a giver rather than a taker. Do I want to get married because I am lonely, desperate, or anxious? Am I really ready to devote the rest of my life with this person? Am I ready for the responsibilities of marriage?"
There are many negative issues associated with finding love on the Internet. Dating websites are big hangouts for pedophiles, rapists, liars and people who just want to have ungodly fun. Do you know whom you are talking to? Ask yourself why you are so eager in the first place to even use these online dating websites. It's scary enough going on a blind date and meeting people in person, but even then you don't know who they are. In some cases you might even marry them only to find out they are insane or deranged.
I highly encourage you to wait on God for finding the love of your life. If and when God is ready for you to be married, God will bless you with the person of your dreams. God is in control. Trust in God for your needs and He will provide. By waiting on God you will be saving yourself a lot of unneeded problems in the long run.
Angie Lewis is the author of five marriage books offering marriage tips and wisdom filled answers tackling such issues as addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, forgiveness, communication and much, much more.
"Adultery Pandemic" is Angie's latest book. Turn Your Marriage Into A Success! If you want to restore your marriage from the demoralizing effects of adultery, then look no further - this is the book for you!
To preview these books go here: http://www.lulu.com/AngieLewis/
Marriage Resources- http://www.heavenministries.com/
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Surely God is just as able to bring the prospective soul-mate you suggest He has in mind for everyone into your life through the Internet as He is though other places (bars, clubs, shopping malls etc)?Caution is always prudent when meeting strangers - whether through the Internet or not. Of course, take sensible precautions - don't give out your address to people until you know and trust them for example."Dating websites are big hangouts for pedophiles, rapists, liars and people who just want to have ungodly fun" is a massive assertion and not one you've provided any support for. A paedophile is not going be likely to want to meet adult women from a dating site...I think the evidence suggests they are more likely to hang out on social networking sites where children and young teens are free to register accounts, so listing paedophiles as a danger associated with use of dating websites by adult women seems a little bizarre.
Hi Angie, I agree for the most part with the heart of your message, God is indeed the one who will bring your mate. However, I know many Christians who love the Lord and have used the Christian sites and they are not liars and people just looking for ungodly fun. I hear your heart, but believe that is to broad of a statement. One couple imparticular did not want to use the sites, told their friends to quit pushing them because they are believing God for his timing. They both were saying the same thing at the same time and did not know eachother. Both felt they finally heard from the Lord to go sign up. Mike prayed that if this was the tool God was going to use, then bring her first. No "dating" Sandra felt the same and prayed the same. They both showed up at the place at the same time and she was waiting her turn for her interview. Just as she was walking in, he was walking out. God spoke to his heart and said she was going to be his wife. He began corresponding with her and three months later they were married. They were both strong, mature Christians. They have children and have been married for 17 years.Anyway, just thought I would share this story to say that not all Christians using this site are not praying and seeking the will of God and they are certainly not all out for ungodly fun. Other than that, there is great Biblical advice in this article. Lord Bless you! TeresaHi Teresa,
Thanks for your constructive viewpoint -- it is well taken. I do appreciate your thoughts, always. Maybe I should reword the article a bit. I've read it over and over again and can't seem to find where I said that ALL Christians who patronize date sites are out for ungodly fun -- I certainly did not intend for that when I wrote the article. What do you think, should I tweek it? Your opinion is valuable to me.
God Bless,
Angie :-)Hi Angie, I'm so glad you saw it as constructive. :-) I reread it, and I still read what I did the first time.This is the problem for me and maybe even Ben:"I think those sites are for people who just want to have promiscious fun..."In this statement it imply's that you think the only people who go there are looking for this. Which is another way of saying everyone. I see your point, which is not to trust the sites alone. I was hoping that was not your intent, and even saw that maybe it wasn't, but that is why I left the comment I did.If it were me writing it, I would not have said that at all and just focused on the suggestion of praying and trusting God and maybe even saying that its a good idea to stay away from them unless the person fully believes this is where God is leading them. But this is just my two cents :-)I do believe the bottom line is clear. Seek the kindgom of God and His ways and at the right time, he will bring your mate.Love and hugs :-)Hi Teresa,
Thanks for that - you bet I saw it as constructive, from you. :-) LOL How will we learn and grow if we don't accept constructive comments from our fellow writers. Your comments mean a lot to me, especially since you also write on things Christian and spiritual? You are a wonderful writer.
I know that I tend to come on a bit too strong at times, or blunt...my husband lets me know too. LOL Please continue to be constructive with me. I don't want to offend anyone...
God Bless!
Love in Christ,
AngieHi Angie, I love the change :-) Now that is something that cannot be argued and it is a much gentler (is that a word?) way of putting it. Love and hugs, teresaAnd the same goes for you with me, I welcome constructive input as well.Hi totally agree - we should 'Seek the Kingdom of God ...' After all he is God and I believe that God's best in a mate will cross your path in His good time. - I believe that God spoke very clearly to me on the issue of Christian Internet dating websites - That is, I should shut down all my profiles even Facebook. I did this and although it is tempting to go back there; I did once as Christiancafe gave me a free 10 day trial, I interacted with someone for a short time - He was from South Africa; I'm living in England, but nothing came of it. He politely said that it was good interacting and that was that. I felt that I was being disobedient so that would be the last time. I will continue to 'Seek Him' for His purpose for my life and His best in a mate or 'Help Meet'.I note Angie that you refer to younger Christians. I'm a single Christian in my early 50's so it is not easy, but I believe that whoever he is He will be worth the wait in the end.I must stress that I'm not criticising those who want to pursue the Christian dating websites, but I always think; as it did in my case, takes your focus of God and His will for your life.God Bless
Great article, Angie. I agree with you totally. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable looking for a permanent relationship on the internet. I'm not saying it may not work out for others, but I wouldn't trust it myself. I think I would prefer to let God and fate take care of any relationship I needed (should I ever need one). I have, however, met many new friends through different websites on the internet (not Match/mate types of sites, though).SandraHi Sandra, Thanks for reading my article and I do appreciate your thoughts.
God bless!
Angie :-)
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