How To Love The Man You Married
Posted: Tuesday, April 07, 2009
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
Do you love the man you married? What is a priority in your marriage? Is it doing whatever you want by living the way you want and getting what you want when you want it? Or do you and your husband both agree or disagree on important issues and problems that affect the marriage? When we disregard our husband's protection and decisions for us then we are basically living our own life. This surely doesn't mean that a husband has the right to disregard his wife's feelings either and do whatever he wants. It works both ways.
I do realize there are many good wives out there who treat their husbands with respect, but I think there are just as many who don't. Loving the man you married is not about getting your way all the time. It is not rejecting your husband sexually or in any other way. Just because a woman doesn't feel like having sex doesn't mean she should deny her husband. This works both ways too.
Are You Respecting the Man You Married? Respecting the man you married is not constantly nagging and complaining to him over minor issues and circumstances going on around the home because you feel the need to control or have power over him. Some wives do this often and don't even realize they are doing it. Husbands don't even realize this is happening. Then we wonder why our man strays from the marriage. Is it because we are devaluing our man's position in the marriage? I should think so.
When you feel yourself wanting to gain some aspect of control over certain issues, stop and ask yourself, "Is this really worth arguing with my husband over"? Take a deep breath and relax. Understand that there are, and will be, many, many things you do not have control over. The more we believe that we can change something to fit our needs better, the more we get disappointed when nothing changes.
What Can You Change In Your Marriage? We must have the understanding and wisdom to know "what we can change", and the courage to change only those things that we can actually change. I know for a fact that we can change our own attitude and we can change circumstances that we have created. We can influence our husband's in a loving, humble way, but this doesn't mean to control them or change them. There is a difference.
Marriage is not that difficult when we learn to let our spouse just be. We really ought to worry more about what we are doing that could be detrimental to the marriage relationship rather than watching the faults of each other.
Loving the man you married is about taking the time to understand his feelings. Letting him talk about how he feels, even if he is being vague about those feelings. He wants to trust you and he wants the assurance that he can trust you with his feelings. Husbands can be vulnerable too, especially if his feelings have been belittled, scoffed or denounced in the past by his wife. Can he trust her? Treating your man this way is a sure-fire way to get him to clam up on you.
If You Are Married To A God-Fearing Man Give Him The Reins Loving the man you married is giving him the reins for a while and letting him steer the boat. No real man likes to be the back seat passenger in his own boat. Let your husband lead the boat to where he wants to take it. How about not bickering and negating your man's feelings. Learn to trust the man you married. Give in for the sake of "giving in" and for respect and love.
If you are married to a God-fearing man you shouldn't feel intimidated handing over the reins to him. The truth is there are more than 101 ways to love the man you married and you only need to practice one way to be a loving wife the rest of the 100 ways. And that is to respect, in every way, the man you married. See the companion article to this article. How To Love The Woman You Married
This Article has been viewed 1,255 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)I'm screwed....or I should say my marriage is......i have no way on earth any knowledge or feeling to make it work......were exisiting in this house together cause its easier than all the divorce stuff, and it's easier on the kids to say together I think, but I think it is going to damage them in someway when they are in relationships when they are older....no communication nothing..........but i do make sure that my boys gets lots of hugs and I love you's and I do make sure I hug daddy infront of them sometimes even though it ills me to.......but that is so sad to feel that was about hugging my husband...i don't want to, we go our separate ways but just stay married cause its easier It think........or i haven't had enough yet and the courage to pack up and leave........are you a marriage counscellor?? LOL god help meHi Kathy,
I consider myself to be a guide and encourager, helping couples set their sights on Christ for their marriage. I steer them in the direction that leads to God, and get them focused as to what is actually important in their marriage...so they can begin to apply God-based principles into their marriage. Is that counseling? I guess it is but not in the way that most people are used to.
Your marriage can be restored...I firmly believe that, and if you would like for me to encourage you and steer you in the direction that leads to a loving, productive marriage then please let me know and I will gladly offer my guidance and wisdom that has been shown to me through Christ and my own marital experiences. But in the end it is your willingness to change yourself and trusting in Christ for your marriage. We all have to change ourselves and we can all better ourselves through Christ....its not something we can do on our own, because without God we are nothing.
May God Bless you and your loved ones!
Angie
my reason for marriage was wrong.. i got pregnant and my husband now claims i gave him no other choice but to marry me. but, don't get me wrong 'coz i truly love my husband enough reason for me to get pregnant. after 12 years of marriage, i seldom recall happy moments with him. what i see now is a husband who cheated me, a husband who's got his own plans, a husband who disregard me as a wife... he has password in every gadget he has and he lives his own life. today is actually his birthday but he is not home. he attended an overnight car launch that makes me wonder.. is the event more important than his family? is there still hope in making my marriage work? how can i trust and still believe in him after all he has done and without any sign of change? i admit, i am tired, hurt and uncertain.. i hope you can help..from, lucyLucy, I would like to give you support and encouragement for your marriage. If you are willing to put in the effort and if your husband is too, then I can show you a better way to deal with circumstances and issues that arise in your marriage. Only God can guide us in the right direction for our marriage--I'm only someone who can get you started on your way to a more productive marriage. Email me from my marriage ministry website.
Blessings,
Angie
Heaven Ministries
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.